What is real leadership??
i really wonder bahs...what exactly ish wrong...
i feel so stressed up by so many things!!
i dunno what the stupid hell ish going wrong with me..
wonder...if it was the right choice,to accept the offer of being the Head...
i really wonder bahs...i feel that i DON'T FIT TO BE ONE..
im just plainly useless...someone who just know how to cry when i face problems..
just small little problems,would change my mood completely..
when i was talkin to them today, i felt totally like shit...
I DON'T FIT TO STAND IN FRONT AND TALK!
I REALLY DON'T FIT!
seriously..i just feel totally USELESS...
what exactly did i do wrong..
i really wonder bahs..
all i want ish to do the best out of everythin..
but yet...all i get was people screamin at me..
when i just wanted to get everyone's attention,
so that it wont drag anymore..
I FEEL TOTALLY UPSET!!!
IM JUST PLAINLY RETARDED,
TO CRY BECAUSE OF SMALL LITTLE THINGS!
I JUST DON'T FIT TO LEAD...

haiish..
it's like the first time i feel so upset over cca stuff bahs...
the feeling just sucks...
i hate it..
i really hate it...
no matter what i do,
people would always be unhappy..
i try my best to make the best out of everythin,
but i just can't!I CAN'T!I CAN'T!!!
whenever i talk about this...
i just have the urge to cry out...
so that everythin would be thrown out..
i thought i became stronger...
but actually i din..
im still,just the girl,who only knows how to cry Cry and CRY!

Mr Peh always tell me this:
Child,if you are upset or stress up.Do come and approach me.And tell me..
The unit needs you...
so stay strong!

whenever i see this..i would always tell myself to buck up!
and dun give up so easily...
i always tell myself to endure..endure and endure!
but i dunno why..
recently i've been really weak...
feel that i've already used up all my energy...
things seems to get from bad to worst...

i dunno bahs...
JIAYOUS CHEWPEIWENEILEEN...
although im not confident,
but i know,i still have to be strong..
17 more days..and i would be officially 15..
im gonna be a big girl from then...

[[EILEEN]]
the decision is up to you...
take care..please don't get injured again..will you?