haiish...
sometimes..
i feel im realli stupid bahs..
why should i care so much..
when its like none of my business...
im no longer anyone important or anyone to you anymore..
haiish..
feel so dumb...
feel so irritatin over and over again..
irritated by myself..


haiish...
feel so like shit.
today had bio test..
but i think i would be doin realli badly for the test bahs..
things seems to go really bad..
realli stressed up by school work..
and personal stuff..
home ish like so shity..
everyone ish so quiet..
i can hear the fan blowing..
can hear my typing...
can only hear my song...
and nothin else..
home seems so cold..
and unfamiliar to me..
i dunno what ish happening...

does it mean that when we grow up older and older..
our relationship with our siblings and parents would be worst..
den i rather i never grow up..
i wanna a lively home..
a home where i would feel happy living in..
but not a home so cold...
so feelingless...
feel so stupid...
even if i was to post here..
no matter how i wish..
things would never go in my way...

im just a burden at home.
always creatin trouble..
always to noisy one...
the one who always cry..
the one who always scream around..
but had never contributed to the hse before..
never did anythin to let my parents be proud of..
and never respect my siblings...
im just someone extra..
even without me..
there wont be any difference...
or maybe..
life would even be better without me..
im just that useless..
and i can do ish create trouble...

i wonder..
was it the right thing that i should be born..
i dun find a mean at home..
i dun find a mean in school...
in just that useless..
as i cant do anythin for anyone...

[[EILEEN the useless blahblahblah...]]