having the urge to like give up on everythin...
LIFE REALLI SUCKS...
life was great were great when everyone gets together...
laugh around,have fun around...
but life realli sucks...
when everyone only care for themselves...
and quarrel around every single day...
getting angry with each other...
but never get the feeling of being sad....

i have the urge of just leaving this stupid world...
leavin it for the purpose of peace...
i dun understand wads the point of stayin..
as i dun want to feel upset over it...
why can friends be realli that nice..
but a place which im stayin in...
is so scary...
so cold...
it makes me feel that im not suppose to live here...

how i wish i got school everyday...
and doesn't have to go back home..
how i wish i have night classes everyday...
until late night..
so that i wont have to go through the horrible process everyday...

have i wish i was to have a realli nice day...
how i wish i had a realli nice home..
but i dun have one..
as everyone ish just caring for themselves..
but never spare a thought..
i might be the youngest...
but yet...
i have the most amount of emotions giving in...
i can just cry as my brother give me a small little hit...
he might not feel anythin...
but yet...
i felt realli sad..
realli hurt...
no one will ever know..
cos i am always joking around all these while...

smiling and having crazy moments in school..
during lesson, during cca....
was just a cover behind everythin...
but yet...
when its time to go home..
its all the same old things again...
no one cares..
and no one will ever noe...

seeing my friends getting so close..
to their siblings...
so close to their family..
they do quarrel...
but after that..
its one big family again...
but it doesn't seem so in my hse...
after quarrels...
things gets from bad to worse...

nowadays...
i dun talk to my brother...
he was one of the closest person at home...
but yet...
now when we see each other...
we would never talk...
i regretted growing up...
when i was young...
i would never have this type of thinking..
this type of feeling..
as i was still emotionless...
but now...
everythin changed....
i feel alot...
i care alot....
but i just cant expressed it out...
as i just cant show it out...

chinese got this saying...
兄妹没有隔夜愁。。。
但是那又是多么的真实呢。。？
为什么，误会总是越来越深。。
渐渐的，
爸爸不像爸爸，
妈妈不像妈妈，
哥哥不像哥哥，
姐姐不像姐姐，
妹妹也不再像妹妹。。
一个家。。。
再也不像一个家。。。

[[EILEEN]]